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narcissistic abuse recovery
support forum for people healing from toxic relationships, gaslighting, trauma bonds, coercive control, emotional abuse, and manipulation
Hello everyone, I’m having a hard time enforcing boundaries with family members who don’t seem to get why I need space or limits after my abusive past. They keep crossing lines or pushing me to 'just forgive and forget,' which feels harmful. How have you handled family who don’t respect your boundaries? Is there a way to explain it so they understand without causing more conflict? Would love to hear your approaches or tips!
Hi Jordan,
I hear you, and I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. It's tough when family doesn't respect your boundaries, especially when they're crucial for your well-being after what you've been through.
For me, it took a lot of trial and error. Here's what eventually worked:
First, I had to remind myself that it's okay to put myself first. I realized that setting boundaries is not about being selfish or cutting people out—it's about taking care of myself so I can be there for others in a healthy way.
Then, I sat down with my family and had a heart-to-heart. I explained, as calmly and clearly as I could, how certain behaviors or comments really hurt me and why I needed to set these boundaries. I shared how my past experiences made me extra sensitive to certain things and that I needed their support to heal.
It wasn't easy, and they didn't get it right away. But I kept reinforcing the boundaries gently but firmly. When they'd cross a line, I'd say something like, "I really appreciate your understanding, but this is something I need for my well-being. Can we please respect that?"
It took time, but eventually, they started to get it. They didn't always agree, but they respected my need for space and understanding.
One thing that helped was finding some resources to share with them. Books or articles about trauma and boundaries can sometimes explain things in a way that's easier for others to understand. And if they're open to it, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xohIpzCdvBI might be helpful too.
How have you been communicating your needs to your family? Any specific challenges you're facing?
No. Many people join while still trying to make sense of their experience. If you are dealing with gaslighting, emotional manipulation, coercive control, trauma bonds, or a relationship that left you feeling confused and unsafe, the forum can still be a helpful place to compare experiences and find support. It is not limited to romantic relationships. People often experience toxic dynamics with parents, siblings, ex-partners, friends, or even managers and coworkers. If the pattern includes manipulation, control, guilt, intimidation, or emotional abuse, the support and recovery discussions may still be relevant. Yes. You can usually start by reading, replying to smaller discussions, or sharing only what feels safe. Many members begin with limited details because privacy matters, especially when recovering from abuse. You can decide how much context to give and disclose more only if you feel comfortable. A support forum offers peer understanding, shared coping ideas, and validation from people with similar experiences. It does not replace therapy, diagnosis, or legal advice. For many members, it works best as a companion to professional help, especially when they need everyday encouragement between appointments. You can still benefit from the forum. Many people are not yet ready to make decisions, and reading about others’ experiences can help clarify patterns and reduce self-blame. The forum may also help you think more safely about boundaries, emotional protection, and next steps at your own pace.Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need to know for sure that I was in a narcissistic abuse relationship before joining the forum?
Is this forum only for romantic relationships, or can it help with family and workplace abuse too?
Can I participate without sharing my full story publicly?
How is a support forum different from therapy or professional counseling?
What if I am still in the relationship and not ready to leave?