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narcissistic abuse recovery
support forum for people healing from toxic relationships, gaslighting, trauma bonds, coercive control, emotional abuse, and manipulation
Hi all. I’m struggling with understanding why I still feel love for my narcissistic ex, even though they hurt me so badly. It’s confusing because logically I know staying is damaging, but emotionally I’m stuck. I’ve read about trauma bonds but it’s hard to wrap my head around why the love is so persistent and painful. Is this normal for trauma bonds to mess with your feelings this much? How do people actually stop loving someone who was so toxic? I’m scared this feeling might never end. Would love to hear your thoughts or experiences.
Hi bee_tara08,
I totally get where you're coming from. I went through a very similar experience with an ex who had narcissistic tendencies. It's such a confusing and painful place to be, feeling like you love someone who has hurt you deeply. I spent a long time wondering if the love would ever truly go away.
From my own journey, I can say that while the intensity of the love might lessen over time, it doesn't necessarily "go away" completely. What helped me was understanding that the love I felt wasn't just for the person, but also for the intense emotional connection and experiences we shared. Unpacking that and giving myself time and space to heal was crucial.
One thing that really helped me was focusing on self-care and building a strong support system. Surrounding myself with friends, family, and even a therapist who understood trauma bonds made a huge difference. It allowed me to see myself and my worth outside of the relationship. Practicing mindfulness and journaling also helped me process my emotions in a healthy way.
I'd suggest checking out some resources on healing from trauma bonds. There are plenty of articles, books, and even https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIFJHH8V8go that can offer guidance and support. Remember, you're not alone in this, and it's okay to take the time you need to heal.
How are you finding the process of healing so far? What self-care practices have you found helpful?
No. Many people join while still trying to make sense of their experience. If you are dealing with gaslighting, emotional manipulation, coercive control, trauma bonds, or a relationship that left you feeling confused and unsafe, the forum can still be a helpful place to compare experiences and find support. It is not limited to romantic relationships. People often experience toxic dynamics with parents, siblings, ex-partners, friends, or even managers and coworkers. If the pattern includes manipulation, control, guilt, intimidation, or emotional abuse, the support and recovery discussions may still be relevant. Yes. You can usually start by reading, replying to smaller discussions, or sharing only what feels safe. Many members begin with limited details because privacy matters, especially when recovering from abuse. You can decide how much context to give and disclose more only if you feel comfortable. A support forum offers peer understanding, shared coping ideas, and validation from people with similar experiences. It does not replace therapy, diagnosis, or legal advice. For many members, it works best as a companion to professional help, especially when they need everyday encouragement between appointments. You can still benefit from the forum. Many people are not yet ready to make decisions, and reading about others’ experiences can help clarify patterns and reduce self-blame. The forum may also help you think more safely about boundaries, emotional protection, and next steps at your own pace.Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need to know for sure that I was in a narcissistic abuse relationship before joining the forum?
Is this forum only for romantic relationships, or can it help with family and workplace abuse too?
Can I participate without sharing my full story publicly?
How is a support forum different from therapy or professional counseling?
What if I am still in the relationship and not ready to leave?